did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
