I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
