yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
