i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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