woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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