I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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