that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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