my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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