Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
