she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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