So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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