my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
