I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
