New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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