There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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