so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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