do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
