we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
