Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
