whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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