Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
