So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
