She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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