I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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