Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
