My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
