Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
