You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
