your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
