He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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