you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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