You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
