Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
