Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
