I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
