is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
