just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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