Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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