dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
