Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
