summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
