hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
