Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
