I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
