So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
