i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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