I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
