Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
