I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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