onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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