It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
