you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
