i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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